Coping with holiday grief

​For some of us, the holiday season can bring up a lot of grief related to family dysfunction and/or loss of loved ones, making the already existing winter blues even more prominent. That is, this season not only increases risk of physical illness leading to suggested precautionary regimens--the risk for emotional and mental illness is also high and should similarly encourage you to follow precautionary regimens. Be sure that if holidays are emotionally harder for you that you are making your mental health a priority! The following are some suggested precautionary regimens in the realm of holiday grief.
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1. Basic needs first: Make sure you are prioritizing getting a good night's sleep, which is imperative for feeling both physically and mentally restored; aim for 7-9 hours of sleep every night and listen to your needs during the day for rest or at least taking it easy. Eat nourishing meals that make you happy (Mediterranean is my favorite!) and keep yourself hydrated with lots of water. Keep up with your exercise regimen if you have one, which will help with both your mood and sleep, and your medication regimen. 
2. Love and belonging: Stay connected to your support system (this includes your pets of course)! If grief teaches us anything, it's that love means everything. Cherish the ones you have in your life who genuinely care for you and vice versa. Spend quality time with them if you can and don't be afraid to ask for extra support in whatever forms are most meaningful for particular relationships--funny animal videos, memes, hugs, snuggles, a listening ear, activities, food, watching movies together, etc. It doesn't matter how introverted or independent you are--the truth is we are social animals and we need each other, especially during times when we feel more vulnerable and might want to further hide or isolate. Be good to yourself and let love in to nourish you.
3. Spiritual/personal connectedness: Engage in spiritual practices that are nourishing for you personally. For some, that's going on a nature walk or otherwise spending time outdoors and engaging your senses which helps keep you grounded in the present and out of your head. For others, it's yoga, meditation, mindful coloring, knitting, drawing, reading, immersing in a soundbath, listening to music, dancing, and/or sipping on cacao. The purpose of these activities is to feel a sense of connectedness, peace, and joy.
4. Gratitude journaling: We are not wired to be happy; we are wired to survive and we do so by focusing on, solving, and preventing problems. As such, we require brain training to foster an attitude of gratitude, which over time can help us feel and let in more positive emotions--especially during a season when we may be more prone to negative ones. At the end of each day, try practicing reflecting on the day and listing out 3 things from the day that you're grateful for. Anything big or small goes here: sipping on your morning cup of coffee, the sun came out, your pet snuggled with you, a loved one made you smile...just make sure you're taking the time to not only list the things but to express appreciation and allow yourself to feel the gratitude that comes up during the exercise.
5. Ride the waves of grief: Speaking of our hard-wiring, the experience of grief elicits the full range of emotions, none of which are actually solvable. That is, grief is not a problem to solve but rather an experience to accept and even appreciate--without grief, there would be no love. Each moment you notice grief arising is an opportunity to practice a loving awareness of and compassion toward your experience as it proves the depth of your love. You can sit in silence and allow the feelings to manifest however they wish while you deeply listen, or you can even take out a journal to write about your experience without judging it. Each time you do this you are fostering acceptance of your experience and strengthening your relationship with yourself.