If you're new to therapy...

For many individuals I see, it is their first time entering therapy. Not only is it a process to come to terms with asking for help, but it can be even more of a process to get started with and "used" to being in therapy. If you're seeking therapy for the first time, congratulations on taking this brave step towards becoming a stronger version of yourself and welcome. There truly are no "right" or "wrongs" or "supposed to's" in this process. In this blog I intend to share some initial thoughts of some common experiences you might anticipate if you're seeing a therapist for the first time in your life.

"Weird." "Different." "Hard." "Good." "Uncomfortable." These are some of the common adjectives I've gotten in response to asking clients what their experience of opening up during their first-ever therapy session was like. Sometimes it's hard enough simply reaching out to schedule an initial session if you've been inclined to solving your own problems and keeping things held inside for so long. It's completely normal to feel awkward, anxious, nervous, uncomfortable, and unsure as you're starting the therapy experience, and if you're a more self-reliant and/or private person then this kind of experience is going to be especially likely. It's also common throughout the process to notice anxious thoughts that try to tell you to not continue therapy. But with continued exposure to the therapy space it will start to feel more comfortable--as comfortable as can be expected for the setting, that is, given it's also normal for those and similar uncomfortable feelings to surface throughout the process of healing and change. My primary aim in the therapy room is to make you feel seen, acknowledged, and understood in such a way that you're willing to keep leaning into that discomfort in service of your growth.

It's also totally normal to not know where to start or begin to talk about what's been going on with you, especially in initial sessions. Again, it takes time to get used to organizing and consolidating what's going on with you in a 50-minute therapy space. Often times people come into therapy following a recent stressor or set of stressors--for instance, problems related to a relationship, job, moving, or school--which can be an initial focus unless and until we uncover possible deeper roots. One thing I might suggest to best help you get oriented to weekly therapy sessions is to make note of times over each week when you feel the most distressed, which we can look at deeper to help understand some of the roots of the issues you're experiencing. 

Finally, some feelings may or may not come out during your first session. Sometimes clients can't help but let out their tears, and for others it can take months before expressing more vulnerability in that way. Again, there are no right or wrongs here, just know that whatever you're experiencing is 100% OK and valid. What matters is you've made this courageous step, and you're continuing to make steps by continuing therapy despite the uncomfortable experiences it can bring up. The main benefits of therapy are the same as the risks: that you're going to feel things. But in order to heal things, you've gotta feel things. And once you do you're going to come out feeling stronger than you could ever imagine.