The only guarantee we have in life...

Reality check: The only thing that you can ever guarantee with 100% certainty in life is that YOU are going to be there at the end of each and every day and until the end of your life as you know it. Take a moment to notice and gently observe any internal experiences, including thoughts, questions, emotions, and physical sensations that may be arising in response to reading that...

There is no right or wrong way to react to this--what I think is important is simply attending to what your internal experiences are. On the one hand this reality might bring you a sense of freedom and peace, and on the other it could be triggering questions, fear, loneliness, hopelessness, powerlessness, or other kinds of "resistance" or debates about whether this is a reality; it could also be producing a mix of both. If you are on the path of personal and/or spiritual growth, the hope is that you are striving toward alignment with this reality such that it brings about peace--as in you are fully aware and accepting of this reality, meaning your internal experience of being reminded of this reality is neutral or positive-leaning. Notice I said striving toward because it's within our human nature to want predictability and certainty in our lives, and to experience and often react from anxiety, nervousness, fear, etc. in the context of uncertainty (cases in point: consider the general reactions of people to the COVID-19 pandemic, stock market crashes and volatility, etc.). 

This reality--that you are, with 100% certainty, your only constant throughout life--brings me to the point that your relationship with yourself should always be your first and foremost. That if your only guarantee is that you're stuck with yourself for the rest of your life, you might as well learn to really like yourself and be able to enjoy your own company. For those of you that have partners and children I can understand that you may be rebutting with, they should come first. And my rebuttal to that is, if your relationship with yourself isn't solid, meaning it isn't a priority that you're regularly nurturing, then your ability to be true to yourself is going to falter and, as such, this is going to affect your ability to fully be at your best to take care of your loved ones. Healthy relationships with others require the ability to have a healthy relationship with yourself.

If the idea that you are your only guarantee in life brought up some internal experiences you find yourself wanting to fight off or avoid (hence why I encouraged and will always encourage you to gently observe what internal experiences you're having), I would be curious to know more. Because the parts of you--which absolutely include emotions and feelings that you experience--that you are avoiding deserve your attention and understanding, and the more you escape those feelings, whether consciously or not, the more you keep yourself from continuing on the path of growth and healing. So many of us look outside of ourselves to manage the difficult feelings associated with uncertainty, such as in food, romantic relationships, alcohol, drugs, pouring ourselves into work as a distraction, spending too much time glued to TV and social media, and even oversleeping; yet when we do this we get stuck, because doing so means we are looking for peace somewhere outside of ourselves. And if you're on the spiritual path, peace must come from within.

To this, I must reference my favorite quote of Aristotle's: “The most important relationship we can all have is the one you have with yourself, the most important journey you can take is one of self-discovery. To know yourself, you must spend time with yourself, you must not be afraid to be alone. Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” Thus, a simple solution I have to offer: start to spend more time with yourself as you are able to. It's not necessary to be all intense with this so I suggest taking it at whatever pace you choose--as long as you're taking steps outside of your comfort zone, that's all that matters. I want to kindly add to Aristotle's wisdom by reassuring you that it's OK and natural to be afraid to be alone--and it's also OK to fully face and lean into those uncomfortable feelings, because growth comes from stepping into the unknown. And, as always, consider additional support through therapy if you find yourself struggling with this.

One final thought for now...our experiences of anxiety associated with uncertainties in life are what I believe to be a result of both our human nature and being conditioned/programmed into being anxious with uncertainty. To that I want to say that we have a choice--we can choose to see the uncertainties of life as scary and daunting, or we can choose to see the uncertainties and unpredictability of what's ahead as exciting! Because imagine if you could predict the rest of your life from here on out...the idea is that we would feel at ease, but then what? Wouldn't it be boring? Let's try to shift to a place of excitement and optimism about the possibilities of the unknown ahead.